i've been dissappearing a lot lately and suddenly appears from nowhere without warning. I guess it's been like a habit now. Am off to my reality world and then on to my virtual life again. I was lost in the space for a while last time till my mom start yelling at me. I lost my appetite in real world and started to daydream :) For me living in real world hurt me always, too many teardrops, too much heartache. Being a grown up, there are many things that I can't say, not being a truthful one, have to hide almost everything to take care of many hearts. It is just not like our childhood time. Being free, bubbly all the time and just being sincere. We are just who we are. It's just hard to find beautiful sincereful soul nowadays, most of us including me are full of secret and lies. I don't blame anyone or anybody. It must be because of life. Situation force you to be who you are not. But everything happens for a reason, like i always said to myself, I am not a rock, a rock after thousand years, it will still be a rock. I am a human being, i can change whenever or wherever i want. I can be anything or everything after a thousands years. If i let myself drifted to life than i will be directed by life. I want to direct life not vice versa. But still sometimes, I have the low and high, ups and downs... It's hard to stay all the way positive but i try to... It's better than not trying isn't it?
i lost in life so many times but God saves me. Sometimes i remember Him but all the time i forgot Him. Shame on me millions times. He fulfilled my dreams and still fulfilling them now, but how can i not see them? *sigh*